Babies: the Root of All Evil

Here are some things I’ve learned from this billboard that popped up recently in Michigan.

• The woman on the left must have a disease. How upsetting. Oh, wait, I see: she’s pregnant. That must be worse than a disease. Look how unhappy it makes her.
• There are two kinds of women in the world, pregnant ones and educated ones. The pregnant ones have brownish hair with dark roots (but not in a cool kind of way), bad posture, and overflow with unhappiness. The educated ones are significantly blonder, carry themselves with confidence, and ooze self-esteem.
• The woman on the left must have done something shameful. She dares not even show her face. But, let’s see: fat-shaming is bad. In fact, I thought woman-shaming in general was not cool anymore. I guess pregnancy-shaming is OK, though?
• When I was 13, Planned Parenthood came to my school and told us that having a baby was “just like being grounded for 18 years.” My mother had had a bunch of babies, and she seemed to be enjoying her life and was certainly more educated that I’ll ever be. Having babies didn’t seem to have ruined everything. But I guess Planned Parenthood was right. Look at that poor woman with the dark roots. No hope for her, not anymore.
• They used to tell us we could have it all. But it turns out we’re not even capable of having one baby and getting a high school diploma, too. I had thought more highly of women, but it turns out…

But wait! Maybe I’m wrong! It turned out a bunch of women weren’t buying it, and they made a bunch of phone calls, and look what happened!

So happy Friday! Sometimes the good guys do win.